Saturday, July 19, 2014

Slow and frustrating

Just like traffic.  Tonight sucked.  Too many girls, not enough money, sigh.

No heroes.  Just a few good looking men, but they weren't paying good, so that was kind of lame.

Summer is settling in.  August will probably be total garbage.  I hope I don't cry and go into a PMS rage like last year.

My poor ass was getting a lot more smacks than usual.  I fucking hate it.  My super ass is a curse as much as it is a blessing to me sometimes.

Some young guy asked me to walk him to the ATM and then he didn't want a lap dance from me, and then asks me if I can go find Candice and have her meet him near the palm tree on the other side of the club, and I thought, "You haven't given me a fucking dime, so screw you, I'm not your fucking hostess who will just totally drop everything and help you out for free, especially if you want to spend that money you took out on some other bitch!" I didn't even know who Candice was, so I honestly couldn't help him anyway.  But I felt like a lot of guys wanted to wear out their welcome tonight, and it was exhausting since the money was slow.  Like, way too many creepy lingering ass grabs for one stinkin dollar, it's just not enough.  It should cost more for people to touch my body like that.

Ok.  Enough whining. I honestly want to do more lap dances, so I hope I'll get to tomorrow night.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Holy dead club Batman!

Since last night was the 4th, it was much slower.  I didn't expect anything great this weekend, but surprisingly I didn't end up doing that bad.  Always very slow at first, and it seems like when it gets later, the money gets better.

I've been busting my booty trying to stay thin so I don't get fired.  I fucking hate that my metabolism isn't as awesome as it used to be.  My love for fattening food is what will end my career as a stripper if I don't hurry up and get a real job.  I've been so hungry all week!  I can't stop eating.

One guy had a lot of money to burn because he won some cash at the casino.  I love guys with good luck lol.  What was the most interesting is that he didn't stink like most of the men I dance for.  It was "refreshing." I got my creep on and enjoyed the smell.

I've been really trying to improve upon my business model as a stripper, as silly as that sounds, but I've been concerned with customer service and revenue.  I wanna hustle but I don't wanna hustle so hard to the point that I lose future sales.  It's tough to gauge everyone's budget.  I honestly want people to be happy they got a dance with me.  So they'll want more.

Here's something to make fun of: this clown, and I'm sure there are lots of dudes like these, but this guy who says I'm so hot and says he used to date a stripper so he knows how the game works.  So instantly I realize he is worthless in my book, and he still thinks I think he is cute, but in reality I thought he was disgusting and wondering why his hands were so sweaty.  Ugh!  Gentlemen, please keep your hands clean and dry, that would be ideal, kthx.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Awe, come on!

That's all I've been thinking all night.  Tonight was the most pitiful night of the month.  Fuck June, fuck summer.  I'll probably wanna die by the end of July, and August is historically awful.  Well, last August I only worked weekends and I must have lucked out on a lot of those nights, because it's always been very dead with too many girls working.

Which brings me to my next hilarious story.  My boss told me to tone up because boss man has been cutting girls left and right.  I'm hoping she only told me that because she likes me and doesn't want to see me get fired.  I mean, I know I've been slacking on the cardio, but nothing gets past my boss' unrealistic expectations for "skinny." He won't have fatties working, but I still think I look pretty damn athletic.  I don't need that shit, but I'll listen to her damn advice and straighten up.  I'll be hitting the treadmill every Monday through... Sunday.  Honestly, my big ass and thighs are gonna be the end of my stripping career, despite how much literally every customer and co-worker loves them.

And sadly, no real money heroes tonight, which means I took home a lot less than usual.  It's still better than waitressing, but god dammit I get naked and give people lustful trips.

I'm gonna have to up my hustle, and clearly not just the money hustle, but my gym hustle as well.

And that's another part of my job that really sucks, the pressure to stay pretty and thin.  And I just made a fucking pie, too.  It's gonna have to be my last one for a while.  :(

And summer is just getting started.  Fuck being skinny.  I wanna eat what I want!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Train Wreck

I wish I could smoke some train wreck right now.  After tonight, I could use some high-powered bud.  For like the first 4 hours of my shift, I was making "kill yourself" money, just unacceptable levels.  The "I won't be able to pay my bills" kind of low income.  :(

Not to mention the constant rejection.  My approach must be horrible, or 99% of the guys that showed up were absolute stingy douche bags that happened to love my ass.  Well, they could all tell me but not show me.  I should lower my expectations, especially for younger men in groups, just all so full of fucking shit!  Dollars in their mouths, rather waste their money on blow and liquor than lap dances, even though they would be missing out on a much more exciting trip.

The club was rather empty with too many girls working, so that made it worse.  All the hustlers got the easy guys before me.  It's just the summer settling in.  Not only will we be sweating our asses off the next two months, but we will be sweaty and broke.

So maybe tomorrow night will suck, maybe it will rock.  I hope it rocks, because I have needs.  Those needs would be for cash.  I need a hero.

Have a happy Saturday!



Friday, June 27, 2014

Happy Friday

I hope it's a happy Friday for you, because lately, summer has been kind of sad.

I've been getting B's instead of A's in my summer classes.  I'm slipping, and it's because I'm exhausted.  I hope my actual break is long enough before the fall starts.  The classes are only getting harder and I've really got to straighten up.  My plan to GTFO of this job is finally making progress, and I can't lose focus.

Money has been getting slower at work.  The summer of shitty pay is just getting started.  I need a hero.

This heat is ridiculous, I can't wait til football season.  Stay cool, I'll let you know how the weekend goes.  I'm so excited to go and make some money!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Handling Friday the 13th

Since it was Friday the 13th, I expected bad luck, but I didn't completely dismiss the opportunity to make money, so I went in at midnight, when it officially became Saturday the 14th.  As I expected, the club was not heavily populated with horny guys but with hormonal girls all looking to make money.

So I put on my slow-play strategy and decided to not give a fuck and just do business as I got it.  Eventually, I got a good guy who could afford to make my night awesome, and not just monetarily, either.  Sometimes this job is an escape for me since I work such few hours every week.  It helps me escape all the dryness from summer school.  And it helped that the guy was really hot and smart, and I remembered dancing for him a long time ago.  I was really happy to see him, especially since I figured he would just never come back.

I hope tomorrow night is awesome.  I have a feeling it will be.

Take care, have a great weekend.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Just trying to have fun

Well, no big fish for me tonight, but a lot of small ones and a lot of big tips.  I got two people to tip me twenties on stage.  Fuck yeah.  And a lot of fives too.  Overall, tonight was good.  Dealt with a lot of pigs and just tried to keep taking money.  Some of the guys weren't too bad, and it was nice when they made my job feel easier.

I finally got to thank Super Stripper for her advice from last month.  She was so excited.  She was like, "I told you!  I knew it would work.  Girl, you got that ass, no one can say no!" 

Shit.  My ass has been getting fat from my lack of working out.  Trainer is on vacation so I've been living the fat life.  Cheat day became cheat week.  I've been too busy to cook dinner, and all this restaurant food is making my ass grow.  I better cut that shit out before it travels to my tummy and gets me fired.  Fuck I can't wait to quit.  It sucks being required to be thin.  I love to eat and I've been so busy I'm too tired to work out.

So that translates into my ass being bigger and juicier and it's kind of working out to be an advantage, because it was a very young, douchey crowd.  But there were some ass men.  I'd say the best dance I did was for a black lesbian.  I loved riding her clit and she loved my ass, so it was fun, hehe.

School has been rough, so it actually felt good to let my hair down and still make money.

Hope you all are having a good night.  Time for a shower.  Some guy I danced for stunk really bad.  I wouldn't be surprised if I end up with a bacterial infection.  So if you'll excuse me...

;) goodnight love ya