Sunday, August 24, 2014

3% battery life

Overall, this weekend rocked.  I played my cards smart and most of my shifts were pleasant and lucrative.  Very seldom did I experience the anguish from being in a club saturated with the sharkiest of hustler chicks all preying on the new bachelor party that just showed up.  I waited for the tide to come in and bam, me and my big ass were in demand.  It's always so bad before midnight.  But after midnight, the rushes start hitting and sometimes that big spender shows up just before I start to get really bored.  When I get those blocks of time I feel like no one wants a dance, I just sit down, relax and tell myself, "my time will come," usually, I end up getting some kind of business, which is better than none, even if the guy is a shitbag.  But I did my best to steer clear of the handsy, wasted, trouble maker headache losers that always seem to be there to just make us girls go batty, and it worked.  Hooray for applying myself tonight!  I went home satisfied.  I can't wait for next weekend.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

August heat

Oh thank goodness.  Last night did not suck for me.  Yay!

Lots of ass men showed up and I didn't have to work too hard, though at first it seemed like I did.  Some Asian men were there and one man had his eye on me so I asked him if he wanted a lap dance but he didn't know English and his translator friend asked if I'd do one for the lowball price.  I agreed, but didn't take the cash up front (like the risk taker I am) and before the song started, the guy wanted to just grab grab grab and I was thinking, "No, I'm not starting my night out feeling raped for $20, this guy is way too invasive."  I got up less than a minute into the song, got up and said, "I changed my mind, I don't feel like dancing anymore."   The man didn't even speak English, so I have no idea if he understood me, but I just couldn't dance with that guy for $20 when all he wanted to do was touch my pussy and pull off my nipples.  I hate that!  It just wasn't worth it to me.  The language barrier also made me feel very uncomfortable.  How can I tell this man to stop touching me like a pig if he doesn't understand English?  I don't know Chinese.

Another good reason for me to stop and move on to another guy was because the club was flush FULL of customers, and I just knew it couldn't be that hard to find a gentleman instead of a pig.  And doing a dance for the lowball price when there are potentially better paying customers out there, I just needed to prioritize better.  It didn't take long to start making money.  After that little speed bump, my night got better and better.

I really hope tonight is a good night too.   We shall see.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Came down with something

A bad case of the fuck-it's.  Last night I left for a lunch break and when it was time to go back, I felt too tired to want to try again, even though it was Saturday.  Looking at what I took home, I regret it, but factoring in everything else about last night, I'm glad I stayed home.

I'm sick of creepy people feeling my tits in the most creepy manner.  Even thinking about South Park's version of Mel Gibson doesn't make me smile and tough out the weirdos as much as it used to.

I really can't wait for my first day at my new job/internship.  Stripping was not addictive this week.  If every weekend was like this past weekend, I'd never want to continue working in this industry.  The demand for lap dances was so low, especially compared to the high supply of broke lap dancers.  Competition is such a bitch, and I know it always will be.  :(

The only enjoyable experience I had dancing for someone was this Latina woman who came in with her husband, whom didn't really partake in her lap dance.  It was mostly me and her, and the way she touched me was more like how I wish all men touched me.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Back from a road trip

I got back home pretty late on Thursday night.  I timed it that way so I'd be able to go back to work on Friday.  Both Friday and Saturday nights weren't too bad for me, so I'm glad to get right back into the swing of things.  I was still a bit uterine from being around my mother and a handful of other female family members for a week and a half, who I discovered all inherited the holy ass I am sitting on.  Thank you, great genetics passed on from my grandmother... We are all blessed with an ass for days.

Surprisingly the club wasn't terribly dead.  The guys that came though, most of them pretty useless of course, including this one guy who used to dance with me.  He likes my doppelgänger more, though.  Told me he wasn't gonna get dances at all, but turned around and got dances with my doppelgänger just a few minutes later.  Sigh... I wasn't gonna let jealousy get in my way, just let it push me to move on and get that money.

Saturday night I met a hot Canadian man and he was a young Pisces like me.  It was hard to say goodbye at the end, but he made my night a lot better than it could have been, so I was thankful.  He looked kind of like Steven Stamkos from the Tampa Bay Lightning (hockey team), so I was eating it up, haha.

My hustle is probably pissing off my co-workers because I've been low-balling to get a high turnover rate through the summer, and because I need guys to come back and see me, and low prices simply get those results better than gouge prices.  A lot of the other dancers say what their prices are backstage, and I think, "God, no wonder no one wants another dance from you."

I'm sure some of them think I'm an idiot because I could be charging more money, but every night I am satisfied with what I take home, so they can think what they want.  I get busy fast, especially when the regulars are there, and to me, the name of the game is to stay busy doing dances, and I'm quite successful at it.  So nah nah nah boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.  My hot summer sale is what keeps me constantly busy when the club is shitty and dead.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Slow and frustrating

Just like traffic.  Tonight sucked.  Too many girls, not enough money, sigh.

No heroes.  Just a few good looking men, but they weren't paying good, so that was kind of lame.

Summer is settling in.  August will probably be total garbage.  I hope I don't cry and go into a PMS rage like last year.

My poor ass was getting a lot more smacks than usual.  I fucking hate it.  My super ass is a curse as much as it is a blessing to me sometimes.

Some young guy asked me to walk him to the ATM and then he didn't want a lap dance from me, and then asks me if I can go find Candice and have her meet him near the palm tree on the other side of the club, and I thought, "You haven't given me a fucking dime, so screw you, I'm not your fucking hostess who will just totally drop everything and help you out for free, especially if you want to spend that money you took out on some other bitch!" I didn't even know who Candice was, so I honestly couldn't help him anyway.  But I felt like a lot of guys wanted to wear out their welcome tonight, and it was exhausting since the money was slow.  Like, way too many creepy lingering ass grabs for one stinkin dollar, it's just not enough.  It should cost more for people to touch my body like that.

Ok.  Enough whining. I honestly want to do more lap dances, so I hope I'll get to tomorrow night.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Holy dead club Batman!

Since last night was the 4th, it was much slower.  I didn't expect anything great this weekend, but surprisingly I didn't end up doing that bad.  Always very slow at first, and it seems like when it gets later, the money gets better.

I've been busting my booty trying to stay thin so I don't get fired.  I fucking hate that my metabolism isn't as awesome as it used to be.  My love for fattening food is what will end my career as a stripper if I don't hurry up and get a real job.  I've been so hungry all week!  I can't stop eating.

One guy had a lot of money to burn because he won some cash at the casino.  I love guys with good luck lol.  What was the most interesting is that he didn't stink like most of the men I dance for.  It was "refreshing." I got my creep on and enjoyed the smell.

I've been really trying to improve upon my business model as a stripper, as silly as that sounds, but I've been concerned with customer service and revenue.  I wanna hustle but I don't wanna hustle so hard to the point that I lose future sales.  It's tough to gauge everyone's budget.  I honestly want people to be happy they got a dance with me.  So they'll want more.

Here's something to make fun of: this clown, and I'm sure there are lots of dudes like these, but this guy who says I'm so hot and says he used to date a stripper so he knows how the game works.  So instantly I realize he is worthless in my book, and he still thinks I think he is cute, but in reality I thought he was disgusting and wondering why his hands were so sweaty.  Ugh!  Gentlemen, please keep your hands clean and dry, that would be ideal, kthx.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Awe, come on!

That's all I've been thinking all night.  Tonight was the most pitiful night of the month.  Fuck June, fuck summer.  I'll probably wanna die by the end of July, and August is historically awful.  Well, last August I only worked weekends and I must have lucked out on a lot of those nights, because it's always been very dead with too many girls working.

Which brings me to my next hilarious story.  My boss told me to tone up because boss man has been cutting girls left and right.  I'm hoping she only told me that because she likes me and doesn't want to see me get fired.  I mean, I know I've been slacking on the cardio, but nothing gets past my boss' unrealistic expectations for "skinny." He won't have fatties working, but I still think I look pretty damn athletic.  I don't need that shit, but I'll listen to her damn advice and straighten up.  I'll be hitting the treadmill every Monday through... Sunday.  Honestly, my big ass and thighs are gonna be the end of my stripping career, despite how much literally every customer and co-worker loves them.

And sadly, no real money heroes tonight, which means I took home a lot less than usual.  It's still better than waitressing, but god dammit I get naked and give people lustful trips.

I'm gonna have to up my hustle, and clearly not just the money hustle, but my gym hustle as well.

And that's another part of my job that really sucks, the pressure to stay pretty and thin.  And I just made a fucking pie, too.  It's gonna have to be my last one for a while.  :(

And summer is just getting started.  Fuck being skinny.  I wanna eat what I want!